The Not Garden

THE NOT GARDEN

My father called. ‘I’ve been thinking about your garden,’ he said. ‘Do you want to know what I’d do if—heaven forbid—I lived where you do?’

‘Yes, very much’

‘Nothing at all. It’s such a lovely setting, it would be quite wrong to have a garden there.’
‘What’s prompted you to say this now? I’ve reached the same conclusion after months of research and thought.’
‘It occurred to me when I was shaving. But really, it’s quite obvious.’
‘What, not to have a garden?’
‘Yes. A Not Garden.’ My father had evidently misheard me. ‘A Not Garden. Yes, very good.’ So, a Not Garden it would be.

Chapter 6, The Not Garden